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ETERNAL MELODY
What can he do for her?(Chapter 166)
His eyes widened when he heard those words from her. It seems like there is more to this than the rumors he heard on the net.
"From now on, I will continue treading on this dangerous line. I will continue getting involved. I may be the center to all of this. So I have to remain strong if I break down and falter even once people will take advantage of that."
"It's okay for you to break down, especially in the face of malicious rumors intending to break you down."
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Sumire shook her head, and weak laughter escaped her lips. "I have to stay strong."
"But Sumire---"
"Please let me be stubborn. Yuhi-san, I genuinely appreciate your efforts, but this is the type of person I am. Ever since I was a child, negativity surrounded me. I was a problematic child. But more importantly, I noticed it. There is something wrong with me. I don't understand. I don't understand how humans think. Ah, this feeling is familiar, isn't it? No matter how much Yozo tried, he still couldn't understand humanity, and he couldn't find anybody who understood him."
"Sumire-" His sentence fell short when she slumped her head on his chest.
"So what Im trying to get here is that if I become a monster Yuhi-san, you can abandon me. I am already used to people leaving me, so it will not make a difference if you leave me too. At the end of the day, what you see is a lie. I don't know what you think of me, but I never saw myself as a good person. This wretched and vile existence is me. I am rotten to the core."
He didn't realize it was this bad before. Self-loathing? She just needs a bit of love to heal? No, that won't do. It won't do at all. What Sumire needs right now, perhaps he cannot give it to her because he loves her too much.
Sumire lifted her head and walked over to the piano. Her fingers lingered on the keys for a moment before she sat down on the stool. Yuhi continued to watch her expression, but he could not understand what she thought.
The current Sumire is-- his eyes widened when he hears the melody that surrounded the room. What song is this? Yuhi did not recognize the melody. It was not any of her songs or any of his. Nor was it a famous song. But he can feel it, her sadness and pain. All of it is mixing into one.
What can he do for her? Sometimes Yuhi felt he wasn't doing anything to help her properly. She is in so much pain, and yet all he can do is stand by and watch.
Sumire rested her head in his shoulders, and Yuhi paused. "You're messing with me too much."
Soft laughter escaped her lips. "It is rare for me to get the upper hand."
He wanted to ask her more about what she just said. But even if he asked, Yuhi understood that the topic is over now. She won't say any more than this. He parted her hair with his hands affectionately, and she laughed more.
"I feel like your treasuring me too much. Yuhi-san should know how many people I messed with to get to where I am now."
"Your point is?"
"You're allowing a woman like me to take advantage of you. Well, I guess geniuses aren't geniuses when it comes to love."
"Were you this hard to handle when you were dating Mamoru?"
Sumire blinked. "Well, I suppose so.."
"You should have said no," Yuhi mumbled. "I would like to be the one who sees you like this." Even though she is messing with him, at least it is him and not some other guy.
"What a strange fetish...Say," Sumire leaned closer. "Yuhi-san, how do you do it?"
"Huh?"
"You're as bad as me, but everybody thinks your a good guy."
At that comment, his eyes twitched, annoyed. "You keep insulting me since we met again. But did I do something bad to you?" Indeed he was not a good person, but does she have to keep repeating it?
"Well, if I don't convince myself that you're a bad person when other girls flock to you, I won't be able to push them away."
What sort of strange logic is that? Yuhi sighed and flicked her forehead. "Should I say that back at you? How is Sano lately?"
Sumire rolled her eyes. "That person is quite recently."
Quiet Sano?
"Other than a few text messages, he does not come onto me as much as before."
Yuhi raised his eyebrows at that comment. Now that is suspicious.
Sumire leaned forward. "So, the only problem is you talking to other girls."
"I will behave," Yuhi mumbled. "But could you reward me?"
She lightly kissed him. "Okay, I will." Sumire remained close to him for a moment before she pulled her bag out. "I know it is early, but why don't we eat something."
Yuhi nodded.
Has he become soft? He probably has. When he first heard that she was coming here, Yuhi did not think that she would bother him. He did not think she would give him the time of day. After all, she rejected him so strongly the last time they met.
"Say, why did you change your mind?" Yuhi decided to just ask her.
"Change my mind?"
"You said that time that you wouldn't talk to me anymore."
Sumire paused and nodded. "That's right. I said something like that, didn't I?" She trailed off. "But you know how I was Yuhi-san. After the accident I isolated myself. I felt the most alone and pain during that time. However, the letters you sent me through those books saved me. I thought if it was you, then maybe I could return to being normal."
"Normal?"
"Mm, not a mess of emotions nor a crazy woman self-harming, even if I dieIt'sts not like I will see him again."
Yuhi could no longer take it and pulled her into his arms. "Tell me what you want me to do, Sumire, please." His voice wavered. "I can't see you act this way. Your hurt and in so much pain, but what can I do for you?"
What can he do, so she smiles again? So she stops saying such things?
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ETERNAL MELODY
Crazy ideas? (Chapter 167)
To his surprise, he suddenly found himself on the ground. Sumire hovered over him. "Tell me, Yuhi, did you know how much I liked you?"
Yuhi looked away when she said that. How could he possibly know? He suspected that she had a crush on him but nothing to this scale.
"I liked you for so long, I wanted to be with you, and I even had all sorts of crazy ideas regarding you."
Crazy ideas?
Her cheeks colored slightly, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Ba-thump, ba-thump. What on earth is this situation? What is she trying to pull saying this stuff now?
"What sort of ideas?"
"Desires."
He could no longer take it at that comment, and soon he was on top of her again. He clasped her hands behind her, and a dangerous look flashed in his eyes. "I told you repeatedly not to mess with me before. But it seems you do not learn your lesson."
"Did it ever occur to you that I don't dislike it when you mess with me?"
What a woman, she wants to continue courting death.
But that is fine with him, she can continue behaving this way, and he can have his way with her. Yuhi lowered his face and kissed her again. This time around, he did not wait for confirmation and opened her mouth. Whenever he kissed her like this, she tasted like strawberries or some kind of fruit. So sweet... he usually disliked sweet things, but there is something different with Sumire. He does not understand exactly what is different, but he does know that he likes this.
He likes touching her; he likes spending time with her. Yuhi cupped her breasts with his hands and rubbed them slightly. Sumire kept calling him a fool against their lips - before he could do anything else, the doors opened.
It was Shin. He calmly walked over and placed something on top of the piano. "If you two want to do that stuff, just go home."
Sumire laughed softly. "Uh, I think we are finished." She quickly stood up and picked up the documents. "Is this new information?"
"Yes, it just came in. I haven't looked at it either."
Yuhi clicked his tongue irritated. He grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her back into his arms. "Did I tell you we were stopping?"
Sumire rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't mind. But do you want an audience?"
Audience but only Shin-- Yuhi looked over at the door and saw numerous freshmen peeking through the door. Right, Sumire played the piano. This room isn't soundproof either; it is normal for people to come running. But that does not make this okay.
Yuhi thought for a moment before he kissed her lips. "I don't mind."
At that comment, he felt a jab in his stomach and knew he overstepped his boundaries. Sumire pulled away and picked up the sheets. "Nakara-sensei, could you tell those people to leave? I want to focus."
Shin nodded and walked over to the door. It did not take long before all the kids scurried away.
He glanced over at Sumire, who now wore a concentrated look on her face and sighed. So much for having his way with her. He already had his fun earlier, so he should be content, but he wants more when it comes to her. What sort of feeling is this?
He dove for his pocket for his cigarettes but realized they were missing. Yuhi walked over to the girl and hugged her from the back. He continued to assault her neck with kisses. It did not take long before she pulled something out of her bag.
His lips curved to a smile when it landed in his hand. "You shouldn't have hidden it."
She puffed her cheeks into a pout. "I was only concerned. You smoke too much."
"We had this conversation before." He lit the cigarette with his lighter and took a few puffs. "I need to smoke."
Sumire suddenly took the cigarette from his lips. "If I kissed you as a substitute like before, would you stop?"
Ah, that's right; they spoke about this before. Yuhi wrapped his arms around her waist. "Should we try?" He nuzzled his forehead against hers. "It does seem like a great idea."
Sumire laughed softly. "Yuhi-san, you intend to flirt with me today, right?"
"Mm, correct."
Shin coughed, but Sumire pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Be good; we have work to do."
It feels like she is stringing him along, but did he not realize that from the very beginning? Yuhi nodded and turned to the documents. He picked one of them and scanned it briefly. The name of the organization made him frown.
Is it a coincidence?
Black Alice?
Shin spoke up. "We got numerous complaints that this organization is targeting people with unusual abilities. However, the problem is, we believe the organization is affiliated with major influential figures. Because of this, we cannot take drastic actions."
Sumire sighed. "In other words, the SF isn't special either. They have no choice but to obey orders from above and end up silenced."
"Sumire that—"
"Arent I, right?"
Shin slowly nodded. "Only for now. The leader of the group tends to do things a bit differently than most." He trailed off. "If you want more answers, then it is better to visit in person."
Yuhi noticed Shin's gaze on him, and he sighed. "I can't come with you, though."
The barrier around that place and the security always reject him.
"The SF headquarters?"
"Go with Shin after school."
"But you—"
"Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do. My concert is soon, remember?"
Sumire slowly nodded. "I guess I could go. But Yuhi-san, you have to remember to answer my calls."
He chuckled when he heard that. It seems like she is adjusting and playing the girlfriend role well. Still, he could not shake off the bad feeling. The Sf isn't a dangerous place, but they interrogate many dangerous ability users there. What if something happened? Should he go with her even if it meant having to wait outside?
Sumire picked up the piece of paper again and pointed to a person photograph. "This person is a member of Black Alice?"
"Yes."
"I think I know where you can find them."
Yuhi looked at the photograph, and his eyes widened. Huh? This is— how could he not recognize her? The woman in the photograph looked slightly different, but he could still recognize her. This person is the one who was his girlfriend in name until recently.
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ETERNAL MELODY
Black Alice Organization (Chapter 168)
Huh? How come? Yuhi looked puzzled, and the brunette beside him sighed.
"This is why I worry for you, Yuhi-san. How come you didn't realize?"
How was he supposed to know? He never looked at that woman properly; he only used her as a substitute. No, she wasn't even that much. If it weren't for Hino's request and the agency's sake, he would not bother. Now that he no longer needed her, Yuhi almost forgot about the woman.
Shin nodded. "I wondered when he would realize."
Even Shin noticed? But now that he thought it through, Shin showed a vague interest whenever that woman was involved. Yuhi, however, never thought much of it until now.
So the reason why she insisted remaining a couple with him was because of this? It seems like she was no simple person, but Yuhi understood that she was still nothing.
"Leave this to me. Shin, take care of Sumire today."
...............
The place he chose to meet her was the location of one of the many places the paparazzi photographed them. Yuhi wanted to create the illusion that he was thinking of the past. Sure enough, he spotted her all dressed up through the double doors. Yuhi pretends to look down all melancholy.
Sure enough, the moment she arrived, she wrapped her arms around him.
Sara brushed her lips against his neck. "Yuhi, did you miss me?"
"Mm."
"I thought you would, that little girl isn't good enough for you."
"Well, she is younger." His replies were rather vague, but Sara did not question him even once. She even went along with everything he said. It felt like it was far too good to be true. No matter what, he said she seemed to have a comforting reply for everything. It seemed very strange to him.
Sara kissed his neck and ran her hands through his chest. "You can ask me anything."
"Black Alice?"
At that comment, the woman froze, but she quickly regained her composure. "Sleep with me. I will tell you everything."
Yuhi nodded. "Alright."
After a few drinks, it did not take long before the woman passed out. He scooped her up and quickly carried her through the backstairs of the hotel lobby. He glanced over at the staff member who nodded at him, and he silently walked through the halls.
It did not take long before he arrived in the room. Yuhi quickly entered and placed the annoying woman onto the bed.
Sleep with her? As if. Yuhi extended his thumb out, and a dark light surrounded his fingertips. Initially, Hino suggested asking somebody else to do it with her. But his consciousness would not allow him to do that. That would be the same as asking somebody to **** her.
So he came up with this method instead. He could apply some pressure using his ability that would lead to dark marks. All he had to do was place his finger above the area he wanted.
A deep sigh crossed his lips after the first few successful ones. He was worried about Sumire and SF. If they didn't allow him inside, would it not be the same for her?
Sumire is, without a doubt, an ability user. But her ability is most likely something regarded as unacceptable. However, she has another life force in her body right now. That should be enough to let her inside. Should he have told Shin that Sumire is pregnant? It isn't confirmed, but she showed more than enough signs.
After a few minutes, Yuhi finished the marking process. He quickly removed his shirt and deliberately tore it, alongside the woman's clothes. He kept the blanket around her, though, so he could not see her bare skin.
It feels like Sumire will kill him, regardless. She wasn't kidding about carrying those knives around. Information, information - getting direct source from a member is better than nothing.
Sara stirred awake, and Yuhi quickly turned his attention back to her. For a moment she looked around, she saw him and then glanced at her body for confirmation.
Her eyes brightened, and lips curved to a devilish smile. "I knew you couldn't resist me."
"Mm."
"Alright, let me tell you what you want to know." She wrapped her arms around him. "This isn't free, though."
"Give me a break. Even I get tired."
Sara laughed. "Right, you do. So Black Alice? It is exactly like what your thinking. It is a global underground organization. They deal with people with supernatural abilities and use them to commit heinous crimes."
"What is with the name?"
"The name? Well--"
___
Sumire and Shin, who were on their way to the SF headquarters, were also having a similar discussion.
Sumire still found it hard to believe that Shin rode a motorbike. But, her gaze fell on the man who was parking the bike. 'It seems like he is a bit different than before.' She wondered what it was. The demeanour around him seems to have changed. He is no longer naive and seems to be more serious.
The SF headquarters is in a place like this? The entire area had barren lands. No signs of any buildings or wildlife, it looked like they were in a desert.
"By the way, you said something earlier about the name of the organization?"
"Mmm." Sumire nodded. "You don't find the name weird?"
"I never gave it much thought before. I mean organizations like this don't give much thought with names. Some try to make it sound threatening.."
"With that logic, don't you think the name Black Alice is strange?"
"What are you trying to say?"
"When you think Alice what's the first thing that comes to mind?"
"There is a book about it right?"
"Mmm." Sumire trailed off. "Yes. A book from 1895, by Lewis Carroll. It's a story about a young girl named Alice who falls into a rabbit hole and ends up in a fantasy like world. A world filled with strange creatures. People described that book as a mere fantasy since it plays with the idea of logic. Even if a young seven year old girl fell down a hole, there is no mysterious world at the bottom. In the bottom of those holes is a dark and grim place. So the story is ironic. Alice is a young and innocent seven year old. However, in recent years people have played with the idea of a grown up Alice in the mysterious place called wonderland. What if she turned into the Queen? What if she ended up like the Queen who caused problems for her?"
A strong gust of wind seemed to blow then. "What if she ended up as a black Queen?"
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ETERNAL MELODY
Two Queens? (Chapter 169)
At that comment she noticed that a strange look appeared on Shin's face. "One of the new versions of the tale say, that a black and white Queen exist. There are two wonderlands, one world that is black and one that is white."
"Two Queens?"
"Or maybe it's just one Queen. After all without darkness there is no light and the same goes vice versa. The followers are divided because they think there are two Queens. But I wonder how they would react if they realize the Queen they are searching for is just one person? All their fighting--" Sumire closed her eyes briefly. "--and all their pain. Was it all for nothing?"
Shin looked away and then sighed. "I feel like you know more than you let out."
"Well, I had plenty of time. I didn't work or go to school after the accident."
"So you---"
"I have a vague idea of it. I still feel like this supernatural powers thing is strange. But, it's not like I am clueless. Besides that person was also an ability user."
Shin rubbed the back of his head. "So he basically gave it away. Then, I guess it makes things easier."
His gaze darted towards the bags in her hands, "Let me that."
"Eh? Ah no, I'm fine. I'm healthy so I'm strong enough."
When she saw his unwavering expression she lifted one side. "Half."
Shi nodded in understanding and he slung his bag with his free hand across his shoulder, as they held the bag and walked out of the parking lot of the convenient store.
As the brunette looked up, something caught her attention. Oh, that's. . ' A sign a aurora is coming. 'A aurora huh? Come to think of it she and Shin had a conversation about this before.
'They say you can see the aurora in the skies when your with the person you love the most'
Back then, she said those words out of impulse. But at that time Shin loomed at skies intently, as though he was shocked. He told her that he didn't see anything then; however perhaps he saw it.
The rainbow coloured lights are like stars twinkling in the darkness. The train, whose destination is unknown appears to be crossing under the night sky. Yes, it reminds her of that story. The train that's heading towards the heavens, brings Givonnai and Campanella to the Milky way, waiting at the end is a departure that saddens peoples hearts.
After a few minutes of walking in silence, Shin spoke up. "Sumire."
"What is it?"
"You, should start wearing a scarf. Those hikies are in plain sight."
Hik-- it took her a moment to realize what he was talking about.
She felt her cheeks turn scorching hot, embarrassed at Shin's words. Sumire dove her hand into her bag and rummages inside.
Soon she found find a black material. Oh this is, . . her gaze softened. That fool, if he was awake he should have just said so. Then again, it seems like he is making an effort to be sweet with her these days. She ought to do something for him.
"Hey, isn't that Yuhi's?"
"Gah. Why on earth do you know that?"
"Probably because he always wears it?"
A deep sigh escaped her lips when she heard those words.
"Well, if your relationship is still doing well despite your engagement to Makoto then, I guess there was no need for me to worry."
"It's a 'fake' engagement. So obviously nothing would happen. Besides Soujiro has accepted it already, that the one I will chose in the end of the day is Yuhi."
!You sound pretty sure of yourself there. But what would you do if Yuhi cheated on you with another big breast beauty?" Sumire steps on his foot then, causing him to yelp. "Ouch, I was only kidding around. Your always so serious."
"I don't care for jokes that insult my relationship with Yuhi. Besides why are you calling that woman a big breast beauty now? You said that she was plain last time."
Shin nodded. "Yeah, she's in plain in contrast to you. But in most peoples eyes she can be considered a beauty, and well her figure isn't too bad."
"Your make me want to hit you."
"Well, anyway if your relationship is fine then that's all good."
When she heard his tone, Sumire decided to just say it.
"Shin say do you . . still like me?"
Shin halts in his tracks. "Your going to ask me that, you have no tact do you?"
"I don't want to hear it from you."
"What a rotten personality, really it's a wonder why your so popular with guys."
"It's not like I ever asked to be popular. If possible, I would have liked it if I wasn't popular. That way, a lot of people wouldn't have gotten hurt."
Shi reached over and flicked her forehead. "Stuuuupid. That's like asking you to stop being yourself."
"If your trying to comfort me, you don't have to hit me!" She exclaimed.
"Like those people would say, why do I have to bother consoling you? But yeah, it's like what I said just now. By saying you want to stop being popular that's like depriving you of your personality. I'm sure all those guys have said wish washy lines like, ' the reason I fell for you was because of your music' and stuff like that. But if you read between the lines what they are saying is, the reason why they fell for you was because of your personality."
Oh. . Shin looked over at her and sighed. "You never noticed?"
"Rather, when I realised that they all liked me. I consulted Siena and she shoved all her otome games at me, and we had a seven day marathon on searching for a answer why."
Nase Siena was one of her dearest friends. Somebody she could rely on during her harshest times. Right now the girl is abroad 'seeing the world.'
Shin's face colour turned pale. "Hey hey, how does consulting games help you find the answer?"
"Eh but at that time, it felt like the most logical way."
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ETERNAL MELODY
No regrets (Chapter 170)
"You already know the answer to that question you just asked. I still like you, Sumire. I love you a great deal. But if you were to ask me if my love can beat Yuhi's, or Ichinose's, I'd answer with a 'no.' Unlike those two, I won't be able to do anything grandiose in helping you.
Even though I can stand beside you when you're in pain, aside from that, then I won't be able to give you the comfort and love you need. Truthfully speaking, you knew even before I confessed and already crossed off of the candidate list right? "
"You're making it sound like everything was an experiment." Sumire pauses when she saw Shin's questioning gaze. "Perhaps it was something like that. At the end of the day, I ended up choosing an ending that's different from the original script."
She chose Yuhi. She didn't choose Arashi. She picked a more painful path, one filled with more thorns.
"I don't regret it even now, spending time with the five of you, those days were fun. Atsuro is working hard towards his dream. It was a lot of fun, and even now, I know your all supporting me. You probably didn't think I noticed it, but the ones that have been giving me support this entire time, I know who they are very well. Thank you very much."
Shin averts his gaze from her then. "Mamoru asked us to look out for you. But I'm sure he realized it then too, that even if he didn't ask. We would have eventually consented to it."
Sumire laughs softly. "Even though he planned our encounter. Aren't you grateful for it?"
"Yeah, your troublesome and a pain. But if I nor the others met you. We would not have gotten this far. Sumire, what are your dreams right now? Your Takahashi Yumi's student, but you don't have to follow in her footsteps, you know, isn't that why you left the Trio stars? "
"You know me well. What I am aiming for is something much bigger then what I've started already. But even then, despite my huge goals. I think I would still rush to Yuhi if he is in trouble." She trails off and laughs again, this time with flustered cheeks. "I said I would choose my dreams over love. But since I've been singing his songs recently, I'm starting to think so otherwise."
"So you will choose love?"
"No, there's no need to chose one anymore. If it's the present me, I believe it's possible. To combine them both and show everyone that I can become my very own star, shining brighter than everyone."
For the next few minutes, Shin didn't say anything, and suddenly they hear his phone's sound.
"Hello? Sumire? Yes, she is with me— why? Her phone?"
Right at that moment, she took her phone out to see the red battery symbol and dark screen.
"It seems to be out of battery... Huh? Yuhi?"
Sumire suddenly got a bad feeling. "What about Yuhi?"
...
Hospital - Two hours later-
Even on Shin's bike, it took them two hours to arrive. The entire journey, she felt anxious.
'I can't believe that idiot!' When she heard the news about Yuhi getting into another accident. She panicked and almost fainted. Thankfully Shin was with her.
She didn't waste any time and left Shin behind in the hospital lobby. She rushed up the familiar stairs of the hospital.
Sumire immediately burst into the room. Right at that moment, Yuhi was getting changed.
She immediately hid behind the door when she realized. But she caught a glimpse of—gahhh! 'This is why I need to stop acting so impulsively.'
"Hey, you came."
"Yes, um, are you fine?"
"Mmm, just a little scratch." Yuhi trailed off. "Come in here, help me."
'Help him?' What could she help him with?
"Bandages."
At that comment, she slowly opened the door again. The moment she did, Yuhi wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her ears. "Were you afraid?"
Sumire bit her lip. "I'm used to it."
After all, Ru was very careless. He always ended up in the hospital after picking fights with people. She thought Yuhi was more level headed, but it seems like that isn't the case here. 'Another foolish person.'
Yuhi kept kissing her, and a content sigh passed her lips. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yuhi..."
"Yeah?"
"Bed."
He chuckled and picked her up. The moment he did, she noticed a pained look emerge on his face. Sumire paused. "Put me down."
"It's fine." Yuhi carried her to the bed and placed her down.
She glanced over and noticed the bandage around his waist. She tugged on the material, and it immediately slipped off, revealing a terrible wound. Her eyes widened, and she clenched her fist.
"This—" It was worse than what she thought. But then again, would Hino sound so panicked if it were just a normal wound? To think this happened to Yuhi, Sumire did not know what to think.
She should have told him not to bother.
Yuhi cupped her cheeks. "Hey, don't cry even if it makes you prettier."
Sure enough, she felt her eyes water.
He bent down and kissed her eyelids. "Hush, it's okay. Im fine, Sumire."
"Yuhi, but I don't like you getting hurt," Sumire admitted. She understood that it was unavoidable, but this was still harsh for her. "This is the second time you ended up in the hospital because of me."
Yuhi kissed her again. "Mm, but I don't mind it. It's for you. Besides, I got the information I wanted before that woman vanished."
"She vanished?"
"Yeah, the hotel room, they set it on fire, but she suddenly disappeared."
Suddenly disappeared? Those people must learn the situation too late and headed there to stop it. They intended to silence Yuhi by killing him and dispose of the woman back in their organization. Yuhi must have understood since he nodded.
"It was a good thing the fire wasn't too big. I could get rid of it."
At that comment, Sumire stared at him. Yuhi just admitted that he also has an ability. But it does not seem like he will disclose what it is to her. Sumire did not want to surrender, but she knew this was not the time to inquire.
She placed her hand on the wound, and he flinched. "Hey, now.."
"Let me bandage it up."
Yuhi lowered his face and kissed her lips. "Mmmm, but first thing is first. I want to make sure your okay. I know this must bring back bad memories for you."
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