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PHYSIENTS WILL ALWAYS OFFER BEST STORIES AND LIVE STREAMING ALL TIME
Chapter 27 < — Ducal couple — > (15)
‘So what?’
Lucia expected him to answer that way.
Or say ‘What do you want me to do?’, ‘Wasn’t that the case from the beginning?’
She expected him to have a cold expression as he answered in an unfeeling manner. She worried frantically if she could return an answer even colder than what his reply would be.
Truthfully, she did not want to hurt him. She initially thought that was really how she felt but she realized that she truly did not want him to be in pain.
Lucia’s heart sank as she watched as a moment of inexplicable despair appeared on his face. She watched as the steel-like man expressed his pain in such a way.
He struggled to breath like a fatally wounded animal then he slowly closed his eyes and opened them.
Her heart desired to reach out to him and comfort him but her body was frozen at the sight of him.
She couldn’t wrap her mind around it as the hands holding her tightly trembled.
She couldn’t make herself move or say anything and it stayed like this for a short while.
He laughed bitterly then stopped and in that moment, it all disappeared like a mirage and his expression returned to its usual somewhat deadpan state.
The momentary glimpse of his emotional state before it disappeared like an illusion made her feel both confused and frustrated.
It made her feel as though she was trampling a soft cake.
“…Right. You already see the end.”
His voice was much calmer than it was cold.
‘He…’
Lucia felt like she had truly seen him for a short moment.
His always cold expression and tone was his armor. His coldness was not because he didn’t feel anything but to hide himself so he wasn’t exposed.
“Just now…” “What?” She wondered if she could have possibly dreamt for a while.
Even though she saw it, she couldn’t believe it. Looking at his current expression, it made it seem like she was truly mistaken.
As she continued to silently stare at him, he opened his mouth and spoke.
“I see. It was finished from the start. This is what you meant when you asked me to send you a rose flower, right?”
When he mentioned rose flowers, Lucia’s blood ran cold and she returned to reality, taking a moment to scold herself.
She was currently at a significant crossroad with him. What had started as her grumbling had at some point become something that was too late to turn back from.
“Yes… you’re right.”
She didn’t want to cling to an invisible ending so she asked him to wake her up with a rose flower.
She felt that if he announced their end by sending a rose flower, even if her senses had flown away for a bit, the shock would get her back to her senses.
“If you receive a rose flower from me, what were you planning on doing?”
Thinking that he was perhaps sounding out her feelings, her heart cooled down. She quickly took control of her slightly indecisive heart.
“That… I haven’t planned on doing anything. As you said, that would be the end. There is nothing after the end.”
“There…is nothing.”
He quietly repeated her words then spoke up.
“Is your condition unbreakable?”
“…Yes. I already promised you that I would not break it.”
Her love was a love where it didn’t matter to her if it got returned or rewarded.
Lucia never wished for that. Even in an estranged parent-child relationship, one sided love existed.
It was an impossible love between both of them.
Even if one initially starts out with self-satisfaction, someday, one start to wish for the other to answer, and the feelings for the one that does not answer slowly begins to turn to hate.
In this way, Lucia gradually hated him but she did not want to be eaten up by that hatred.
“…”
Hugo knew he was being excessively greedy. Her words were correct. He knew he couldn’t return her feelings but he was shamelessly greedy for her heart.
He found out more about her in this brief conversation than he found out in the few months that they had been married. He had been indifferent.
She did not show it but he had no right to be angry.
There was nothing about her physical condition in the report that Fabian, his very capable investigator, sent after researching for about a month or so.
The fact that she could not have a child was a secret that no one else knew but she had confessed it to him.
She already revealed a part of her heart to him a long time ago, but he threw it away. He brushed aside the hand that she had cautiously held out to him a long time ago.
“There will be no divorce.”
“…Okay.”
“You are my wife.”
“…Okay.”
“No matter how it ends, you cannot change our relationship.”
“Okay.”
Her short and submissive answers were irritating his feelings. He grabbed her shoulders and knocked her down. Her body lay on the sofa displaying no resistance as he towered above her.
“Do you know what your answers mean?”
His hand grabbed her chin and his fingers slowly caressed her soft lips.At his mellow touch that held sexual desire, her eyelashes shook.
He was saying that regardless of her feelings, if he wanted, she had to open her body to him. Lucia avoided his gaze and replied while staring at the air.
“Yes.”
Hugo stared at her with his deep red eyes as his heart softly sank.
‘Excellent! You got yourself a perfect wife.’
He ridiculed himself. Just as he had hoped, he got a wife that was just like a doll. She was his. She was his wife.
But what he really had was her shell. And from now on, he had to continue living with and embracing this doll-like wife.
She kept a shell of herself here and hid her true self somewhere he couldn’t reach. But what was the problem? That what he had in his arms and what he could see was simply just a shell?
But it wasn’t about her heart. Even if he had her heart, what could he do with it?
He could hold onto her and keep her by his side for as long as he wanted without it. Just because he didn’t have her heart didn’t mean she was going anywhere.
Suddenly, Hugo realized something he couldn’t see before. He realized the reason for the anxiety and despair that had overcome him before.
Anxiety because she wasn’t greedy for anything he had and left no traces therefore she could leave without any hesitation. Despair because he couldn’t open her heart which had been shut tightly.
No, the real anxiety and despair that he felt were not from these things. It was anxiety and despair about his wavering self.
Before he even realized it, his heart was in her hands. The worst outcome he never wanted had crept up on him.
After he became the Duke, he had thoroughly followed one principle. Only give back as much as you receive.
That was why he rejected the love that women gave to him; he could not return it.
Love and Hatred.
He had gone through all the extreme emotions a human being could possess, that was how he learned how to damage other people.
Hatred towards the dead duke and love for his blood brother. Love and hatred seemingly have no relation but they crashed onto him as though they were one.
He barely had any will then and despaired at his powerlessness. He was just a wild beast that lived as Hugh, not knowing anything.
His only worry then was how to kill his enemies and survive. From when he woke up in the morning till when he slept in the evening, it was only about his survival.
He met in brother and in the process became a human but he had to pay the price of learning emotions.
He loved his brother but because of that, he let his brother’s life be controlled by the former duke.
His hatred for the dead duke soon became hatred for the Taran blood flowing within him once he learnt of its secrets after the Duke died.
No entity should be able to sway him.
The feeling of not being able to do things of his own will was sickening. It was already enough for him to experience the breathlessness and fear of losing his brother.
His heart had to be unshakeable and his mind, firm. He must not make anyone a special existence therefore her heart was not the problem.
The problem was his heart.
He had considered it simple curiosity and desire but his heart mocked him.
[You’ve fallen in love.]
‘No. That isn’t possible.’
He was swayed by her. He was starting to become afraid of losing her. He had reached such a pathetic state because of one woman.
He couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t accept such a conclusion. He rose from the sofa with huge motions and began to walk back and forth.
Translator’s Corner:
For those that donated, you should already be refunded. Thank you so much!
< — Ducal couple — > (15)
TN: Here you go… the angst oml. And a BIG shout-out to my first ever patron, Paula!
Lucia looked at the somewhat restless man and slowly lifted her body, sitting up. It would seem that today she got to see sides of him she had never seen before.
His restlessness did not last long. He quickly stopped, looked at her and spoke.
“Get treated.”
And they were back to where they started. Lucia heaved a long sigh.
“Tell the doctor exactly what your symptoms are and receive a prescription. You have to know what the symptoms are and why you are this way, don’t you?”
“I could be pregnant. Is your decision that you don’t need a child changing?”
When he went silent, Lucia felt like screaming. ‘Just leave me alone! I would rather you were just interested in my body like you have been!’
“…there is no way a child will happen.”
“What you mean is… we will sleep separately?”
Lucia defiantly stared straight ahead, locking her eyes with his. He opened his mouth as though she had said something useless.
“Why do you think that’s only for making a child? You enjoy it too.”
“Don’t change the point. If I get treated and you keep coming into my bedroom, what would you do if I get pregnant? That’s what I want to know.”
“If so, it wouldn’t be my child.”
He spat out those words without hesitation and realized his mistake after the fact.
He said that because he already knew that pregnancy was impossible but as long as he concealed the truth, no matter who heard his words, they would seriously misunderstand it.
He regretted his words as her expression was already going terribly pale.
“Do you mean… you won’t admit that it is your child? Or… you will conclude that I was unfaithful?”
It was cruel. He ripped her heart to shred with his words.
Lucia once again recalled when she had overheard him and Sofia Lawrence’s conversation at the victory party.
At that time, his words were like a merciless blade as they cut into Sofia Lawrence.
Hugo knew that his words had hurt her a lot. That he had to apologize and comfort her.
However unlike his seemingly casual outward appearance, his inner self ran amok with confusion and anxiousness.
He couldn’t even understand his own feelings. He had gotten sick and tired of the situation itself.
Of her stubbornly persisting self and of himself that couldn’t tell the truth.
For the Hugo who disliked the complex situations and handled everything easily, this tangled situation and his feelings was overwhelmingly tiring.
“What I mean is…”
He began, stopped for a moment then continued, mumbling stiffly.
“For treatment…do as you please.”
He turned around and left the receiving room. In no time, Lucia was left alone in the quiet receiving room, collapsing into the sofa.
Silent tears began to stream down her face. That night, he did not come to her bedroom.
***
The meal was prepared for only one person. Seeing this sight, Lucia felt disheartened but she sat down without saying anything.
But still, the spacious dining room seemed even more spacious.
“My master recently has a lot of official business to attend to.”
Jerome, as though giving an excuse, explained why the Duke had again not accompanied her for dinner.
“I see. I am worried he will harm his health so I hope you will look over him even more.”
“Yes, your Grace.”
Lucia had been eating dinner alone for a week now and he did not visit her bedroom at all.
She had also not been able to see his face for a few days.
He told her he was very busy. That he would be working all day in his office and would just have his meals there.
But Lucia’s senses told her that he was avoiding her.
He had once been busy and stayed in the office till Lucia fell asleep but at that time, he came in at dawn, grabbed her and slept.
Now, a week had passed. When she looked back at it, it was only a week but if felt like ages.
He was busy with work and had no time to think about a woman. Nothing seemed to be wrong but this week could become a month and then a year.
‘My head hurts…’
She habitually chewed her food but she did not know how it tasted. After she finished eating, she visited to Anna for headache medicine and went into her bedroom.
When she opened her eyes in the morning, she felt a little better but when night came and she lay in bed, it was the beginning of torture as she could not sleep with all kinds of thoughts going through her head.
‘Why did you do that? You ruined it.’
She blamed herself. ‘Why did you cause so much trouble?’
The reason she married him was for a peaceful and comfortable life. It was not for his affection.
From the start, she made a contract with him. She never had the shrewd thought of making the contract and denying it later.
‘He’s the bad one. It would have been better if we just remained a formal couple.’
She held some resentment towards him.
If he did not treat her so affectionately, her determination to live the rest of her life this way would never have been broken.
Now, his attitude cut into her like a knife and plunged her heart into hell.
‘You chose this. You promised to never regret this.’
She once again reproached herself. Why was she suddenly greedy when she gave up on having a child from the beginning?
She didn’t know the value of what she had and became greedy, losing it in the process.
Until recently everything was perfect. She ruined it.
No matter how much Lucia turned, she couldn’t sleep.
She sat up and curled her body into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees. She couldn’t make her gaze fall on the bedroom door that never opened.
As time went on, her heart fell apart even more.
Translator’s Corner:
This one makes me sad. Some part of me is starting to wish she never fell for him in the first place but… gah! so conflicted. I love Hugo toooooooo. Such a misunderstood cutie pie.
Ok, I’m done.
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Chapter 28 < — Ducal couple — > (16)
TN: So flat translation for this name is Ashin. I am considering changing it to Ashen for more ‘english’ vibes but what do you guys think? And a HUGE shoutout to my second ever patronTofu!
He quickly read through documents and signed below them. For things that needed to be looked over separately, they were marked and placed to the side.
On the left were things that he had to process and ones the right were also things he had to process, piled up together.
No matter how much his eyes felt like falling off and he massaged his aching head, going through the papers, he couldn’t see the bottom of the pile of documents to his left.
At one point, he flung the pen away and leaned backwards to rest. Even though he closed his eyes, his head was full of things he needed to do.
He was fed up with it. He wondered how much more of this he would have to do.
‘Maybe 10 more years? Come to think of it, how old will that boy be in 10 years?’
He would be 18. At that age, he would just be graduating from the Academy. If so, it won’t be in 10 years. Maybe in about 15 years?
That boy wasn’t a dim-witted child so if he was taught for about 4-5 years, he would become useful.
’15 years, huh…’
Even the minimum amount was way too far.
‘I have to do this crap for 15 more years…’
As it was raining, he looked outside the window, staring at the dim sky. It had been raining since morning.
At first, he never looked outside the window but eventually, three days ago, he stole a glimpse of Lucia walking through the garden without going to the balcony.
He didn’t realize how unbecoming his behavior was and only grumbled about not seeing her because of the rain.
‘If I don’t see her now, I don’t get to see her at all.’
He mumbled irritatedly then stopped himself with a chuckle.
‘You are so pathetic. Why don’t you just go and take a look?’
It was not far, he just had to go down the stairs and walk for a bit. At this time of the day, she was usually in the receiving room on the first floor.
The way she lived was monotonous and simple but it was regulated as she had things scheduled to do at almost every hour.
She didn’t seem to want to go out these days so he knew her schedule more than he knew his own schedule.
‘I am doing the stupidest things.’
He was now avoiding his wife. To be more precise, he was running away from his own heart.
‘Love? How absurd.’
He continuously denied it. His heart should only belong to himself. He would never waver because of someone else.
Even with such confidence in himself, he didn’t have the courage to meet her. He felt like if he met her, everything would crumble down in a moment.
With the excuse that there was a lot of work, he stayed late at night in his office, dealing with documents.
After which he left the office and slept in his own bedroom that he had not used in the last few months.
‘I can do well without her.’
That was his excuse to keep going. His rationality called him a loser and a coward but he ignored it.
The first one or two days were fine.
‘Right. There is no way I am being swayed by a woman.’
He had felt elated like an immature child. But it didn’t take long for such confidence to disappear.
As time went by, his mood gradually declined and the contents of the documents failed to enter his head making his work speed drop.
Even though he spent the same amount of time on them, because the efficiency was lower, his working time grew longer.
He was uncomfortable with his current state that was very different from what he was used to and the work in his hands entered this vicious cycle.
But he still didn’t want to admit it. He was denying his withdrawal from her, and persisted in his stubbornness.
Unfortunately, there was no one around him to pull his ears and scream out the facts to him.
“Your Grace.”
The moment he heard that familiar voice from outside, annoyance swiftly swelled within him. The owner of that voice always brought a lot of work for him.
And as expected, once the owner of the voice entered, it was not a baseless notion.
Ashin, one of the Duke’s secretaries, the administrative officer, entered found Hugo fiercely looking at him, making his hairs stand on end but he stayed firm and placed a pile of documents on the left side of Hugo’s desk.
Spitefully looking at the sight of Ashin furtively going away, Hugo spoke curtly.
“When is that boy’s vacation?”
Ashin was confident of being able to answer whatever question thrown at him, anytime, anywhere but he started sweating at the Duke’s unexpected question.
Fortunately for him, his mind was clear so he found the answer without pause.
“…I do know he doesn’t have any vacations.”
There was only one person that would make the Duke talk about vacations. The one who was appointed as successor and the only son of the Duke, Damian Taran.
Accurately speaking, he was the illegitimate child of the Duke but unless one wanted to die, they wouldn’t say such words in front of the Duke.
No one amongst the Duke’s vassals mentioned Damian in the presence of the Duke.
‘They were still the same, doubting the possibility…’
They all thought that it could change and hoped for that change, after all the Duke was still very young and had just gotten married.
There were many that did not understand the illegitimate child becoming the Duke’s legitimate heir.
However, Ashin was convinced that as long as there was no unexpected event, the successor of the Duke’s name would be the illegitimate young lord.
This was something the Duke had gathered his vassals together and announced and the Duke had never once gone back on something that he had said.
The event of succession to the Duke send a huge ripple through the entire region. The fact that such a huge scandal was not even more widely spread was because the Duke’s vassals had watched their mouths.
They were uncomfortable with the fact that an illegitimate child could perhaps become their master in the future and did not want to publicize it.
‘Although he made such a loud entrance into society, the relationship of this father and son is completely…’
As soon as his son was six years old, the Duke threw him into a boarding school.
Frankly, the people around him tried to dissuade him. They told him that Damian was young and maybe the Duke could try waiting one or two more years before putting him in boarding but the Duke snorted at them.
[Young? At six years old, he should be able to survive even if he’s thrown into a desert.]
They were all shocked at the standard he held Damian to. But the words that came out of the young lord’s mouth was even more astonishing.
[The survival rate of boarding school is surely more than that of a desert. Thank you for your generous actions.]
And so, the young master that was grossly mature for his age, went to boarding school without any hesitation.
< — Ducal couple — > (16)
TN: Question: So I am going off the assumption that most of you read on your phones so I activated the mobile theme. Is it better? for your reading experience!
Two years passed and the Duke did not so much as mention his son making one wonder if he actually had a son, and likewise the young lord did not so much as briefly contact his home.
‘I won’t be surprised at all if it remains this way till he graduates in ten years.’
As irony would have it, the Duke’s indifference towards Damian suppressed hostile forces and stopped them from acting hastily towards Damian.
‘The Duke may have purposefully intended for that to happen.’
“He can’t leave at all?” (Hugo)
Ashin quickly pushed away his straying thoughts.
“An outing is possible.”
“Tell him to come then.”
“…Do you mean right now? But the semester just began and we need to notify them at least one week in advance to get permission for an outing–”
“When did you start questioning my words?”
If you are given orders, just follow them.
Ashin immediately broke out in cold sweat and his expression grew stiff as he replied.
“…I understand. I will immediately send out a message.”
“I have sent someone to the capital to tell Fabian to prepare the family register and bring it back with him when he returns.”
‘So he wants to elevate the little lord’s status. If the little lord’s status is elevated…no one would be able utter any complaint.’
It had been announced that the little lord would become the Duke’s successor but he was still merely an illegitimate child.
But if his legal status was elevated, he stops being a demerit of the duke and becomes the perfect successor.
Those who were still expecting some kind of change in the future would have to give up once the little lord’s status was elevated.
‘The Duchess must have agreed to his entry into the family register. I did hear their marital relationship is very good but what will happen if the Duchess gives birth to a child? If she gives birth to a son, that will be a headache…’
“It’s Elliot, your Grace.”
The instant those words fell, a scary-looking middle-aged knight walked in. The Knight Captain, Elliot Caliss appropriately paid his respects then lifted up the lengthy bamboo barrel.
Hugo received the barrel and pulled apart the top, revealing the rolled up letter within it.
Ashin felt a shiver run down his spine as he watched Hugo read the letter, narrow his eyes and give a dreary smile.
‘Fuck, he scares me more when he’s like that.’*
“Mobilize seven people. I will leave the assignments to you and we will set out as soon as they are ready.”
The rain was almost over but the sun was already setting on the afternoon.
It was different from the usual early departure at dawn, but the faithful Knight Caliss answered with only a few words and withdrew.*
“Hunting after a long time, huh.” (Caliss)
‘Human hunting.’
To Hugo’s mutterance, Ashin mumbled the hidden words to himself.
‘Whew…today’s dreams will not be peaceful.’
Ashin had once unintentionally followed the Duke to the battlefield a few years ago as an administrative officer although he was far away from the battlefield.
From time to time, he still saw scenes from that time and they made his heart palpitate.
His chills were not caused from seeing the cold-blooded killing. On the contrary, that was easier to see than the unrealistic and dizzying sight of the Duke slicing off someone’s throat and making their heads fly to the sky.
The Black Lion? Ashin found that nickname to be much embellished.
The Taran Duke who donned a black armor as he tore through the battlefield was understandably a godsend and most certainly a devil.
As he took in the sight of the Duke covered in blood like a wild beast and laughing comfortably, Ashin had muttered something without realizing it.
‘What a lunatic.’
He was startled as the words left his mouth and worried as to whether someone heard him but fortunately, his monologue was buried under the cries of soldiers drunk with the madness of war.
Ashin was someone who wasn’t scared of anything in the world. He did not hold back whatever he wanted to say and his capability matched his reckless personality that made both his superiors and subordinates leave him.
But, from that day onwards, Ashin became a docile sheep in front of the Duke of Taran.
He realized how terrifying the Taran Duke was. Of course, the Duke was publically known to be a pretty scary person but he felt the duke was even more terrifying than how they described him.
In places other than the battlefield, the Duke put on a mask of good manners and his rough side could not be seen at all.
People who interacted with him only focused on the fact that he was a young duke and a great dancer.
That was why it was scarier. It was frightening that the bloody thing he witnessed on the battlefield could hide its madness and pretend to be a classic nobleman that had never held a sword before.
“Will the agenda be prolonged?”
“I know I have to go but I’m afraid it will take a while.”
“Then, during the time you are gone, the young lord could look over it.”
Hugo thought about it for a moment.
Although that child was young, he was of the Taran bloodline. It was difficult to think of him as another eight year old.
That boy had plunged a sword into the heart of a man whose ankle Hugo had caught in a trap and finished him off.
He recalled the past for a moment then returned to reality. That boy was never an innocent one.
There wasn’t any insanity coursing through his veins yet but who knew when it would appear. But still, he was currently the mild type.
According to the reports he continuously received, he wasn’t foolishly nice like his father but he didn’t have a cruel temperament.
The first time Hugo met Damian, if he hadn’t seen eyes similar to that of his dead brother then he would have killed him on the spot and disposed of him.
No matter how mild he was, malicious intent wouldn’t fly. Compared to Damian, his wife was a docile rabbit.
He couldn’t help but get worried that it would just be the two of them. He didn’t find it strange at all as he subconsciously worried about her.
“Why don’t you personally go get him?”
“…Huh?”
“Make sure to warn him when he arrives, to give the proper respect to his mother. If I return and hear anything strange…”
“Ah, yes. I will make sure there is nothing to worry about.”
Shortly after Ashin withdrew, Jerome rushed into the office after hearing that the knights were preparing to leave.
‘I think it began the day after we called the doctor…’
He was unsure as to what happened between the two of them but from that day onwards, their relationship grew strange.
His master was taking the initiative to distance himself from her Grace. Saying he was busy was just an excuse.
His master always had a lot of work however it was never to the extent where he couldn’t eat or sleep.
According to the maids, they also slept separately. Every time he looked at her Grace as she tried to act like everything was fine even though she was dismayed, he felt his heart ache.
‘Don’t do this, master.’
For the first time ever, he felt rebellious towards his master in his heart.
He could barely stop himself from asking his master why he would leave on a long term absence without resolving this situation.
Jerome brought in warm tea just as usual and its delicate fragrance filled the air. He poured the tea, filling up the empty cup.
“What should I do about your evening meal?”
“Mmm, you don’t need to prepare it. I will be leaving soon.”
Hugo raised his head and lifted the cup of tea to his mouth.
“I will be going hunting but I don’t know the exact schedule.”
“…it’s already late. How about leaving tomorrow at dawn?”
“No, I am about to get ready and I already ordered for it.”
“As for her Grace…”
“Inform her for me.”
“…Did her Grace make a huge mistake?”
Jerome spoke firmly as Hugo gaze fell on him.
“Even if she did make a mistake, I hope you can generously forgive her. For the past few days, her Grace has not exchanged any words with your Grace.”
“This isn’t something you have a say in. You are crossing the line.”
“Yes. I have to say something presumptuous. Her Grace is the Duchess. She is different from the other women you were fascinated with for a bit and then threw away. You have to treat her valuably.”
Hugo stared at Jerome with slightly widened eyes. Watching Jerome’s slightly downcast gaze as he stubbornly persisted, Hugo narrowed his eyes.
Translator’s Corner:
*Never heard the first word before so I googled it and all I could for find it is: it’s a ‘vulgar profanity.’ It sounds very similar to the word for ‘shit’ though. Btw, this book is tagged smut & mature so you won’t be getting any censoring from me.
* The raw translation says he answers with only two words but I couldn’t translate that sentence to only two words. I mean in Korean, it is two words but English doesn’t words that mean a whole sentence.
And new goal up on patreon for an extra release on here.
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