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Chapter 791 Guinea pig
This chapter is dedicated to @Lola_13! Thank you so much for the supergift!
The statement shocked and confused her but she did not move and just looked up at him. Her eyes that were full of confusion bored into his own, wordlessly asking him to explain what he meant with that sentence.
"I know a way to make it happen without anyone needing to make any sacrifices." He said quietly, never breaking his gaze off her.
Those words made her prop herself up. Her eyes a little wider as she shook her head. "If that's true, you wouldn't have to let your brother Skyler turn human, isn't that right? If what you're saying is true, you wouldn't be so against Kyle and Lilith being in a relationship. And... you wouldn't have held back with me."
He pressed his lips tight and she struggled to understand the expression that was swimming in his eyes. "Because this only works between a witch and a vampire. And for your information, I'm not against Kyle and Lilith being together just because of that. And I wasn't holding back all these damned times just because of that. I am not in the practice of torturing myself because I think I will kill you if I do fuck you."
The fact that he actually answered all three of those questions at once was surprising. Alicia had not known Ezekiel to be a person who would voluntarily give up information just because someone asks him for it, no matter how important the question or person was. So all the words he had just said were such a huge shock to her that she struggled with which of the three she should address first.
She did not know how she managed not to ask the very first thing that her heart was burning to know.
"What do you mean? How could it work only between a vampire and a witch? What exactly is this method you are talking about?" Alicia decided on addressing this matter first. It seemed to be the most neutral and trigger safe one for now.
He leaned back. "It doesn't happen to just any vampire. It only works on vampire royals…" he paused in his explanation, and he tore his gaze off her, fixing his gaze towards the darkness outside. She could see his facial muscles working as if this was a conversation he had never ever wanted to have. She could bet that if they were not in this situation, he would have not talked about this. Ever. "Witches from long ago… they were the ones who discovered this method I am talking about."
Alicia's mouth literally fell to the floor. What?! It was the witches who found this method? To allow witches to join with vampires? She knew nothing about that. Not even the memories of the dead queens from long ago had any records mentioning about this.
"You won't know. Because of one witch queen in the history of witches, they were never able to pass her memories to the next generations. That same…" he paused again, and she could tell that he was struggling to control the rage that was boiling within him. "… it was that same queen who was the one that discovered this. She had managed to create a spell that can counter the curse between the mating of a vampire and a witch." His tone was low and severe, and his brows knitted as he told her these things.
"That woman…" he shut his eyes tightly closed as he threw his head back. "…that woman had discovered that by... goddamn…" He seemed to not be able to continue. And Alicia wondered what was it that caused him to be this agitated.
The way his darkness and rage and hate oozed from him despite him trying to suppress it made Alicia's heart just shake. She had not even heard it yet, but she could feel that whatever it was that he was going to reveal to her would be something she would never be able to even imagine.
"By using… a vampire royal as her guinea pig." He was clutching at his hair when he said that.
And Alicia could only sit there, too shock to even react. He did not need to elaborate it. Alicia had seen it in the memories how witch queens and other witches in the past created their spells. Long ago, they used to test it on themselves or other people. It was even common for them to use captured enemies, prisoners and traitors to be used as their guinea pigs for their spells. She knew what cruelty happens to the so-called guinea pigs and since this spell was intended for something sexual, she could not even stop the disgusting feeling which caused goosebumps to crawl like worms under her skin.
She heard him take in a deep breath and it was amazing how he seemed to be able to wrestle control of his emotions and calmed down again a little.
"I'm against Lilith and Kyle, on all romantic relationship between a vampire and witch because…" he suddenly jumped to the next question. Alicia wanted to know more about the earlier issue he was talking about, but she knew that this was clearly too hard for him to speak about. She just could feel it even without him telling her.
However, this next topic seemed to be as hard as the first one for him as well. "My father fell in love with a witch queen… That bloody queen of all women. And he betrayed me… us. He betrayed his family and the whole kingdom." He gritted his teeth as he forced himself to say those words.
The dark emotions seemed to blast out of him, making the atmosphere turning incredibly dark and heavy. He had kept his eyes closed all the while, still obviously struggling to keep himself at bay.
"He chose the witch queen, fell madly in love with her and threw all of us away. He did everything unimaginable for her. That asshole went as far as allowing his own son to be used by her as the guinea pig just so he could fuck his mistress without killing her. He had ruined everything. Ruined us all. But the worse thing was that he and the witch's madness did not stop there."
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Chapter 792 Nightmare
The living room was filled with nothing but silence as Alicia watched him wage an intense war within himself. She knew… could very well tell that he was.
She could feel the rage and hatred swirling off him uncontrollably, filling the entire room with something so heavy and dark and dangerous. It was so strong and intense that Alicia felt if he exudes any more of this palpable aura, it would just be too hard for her to breath.
"It took years… many years of… madness." Those words seemingly were wrenched out of him and sounded like they were getting much harder for him to say. Then he began to falter, as if losing the war within himself.
Alicia started feeling something strange going on in her body a few moments after that too. She could feel her blood boiling, the emotions within her were intensifying to an unimaginable degree. What was this? This is… were these Ezekiel's emotions that were bubbling over and overflowing into her through their link between each other?
Her eyes stretched so wide as she clutched hard at her chest. She felt somewhat choked and suffocated, but she somehow knew that these reactions were not coming from herself. And the feeling was a very weird sensation that she could not quite know how to explain at the moment.
But suddenly, something blinding flashed in her mind and then... she found herself in a nightmare.
The first thing she saw was Ezekiel. A younger version of him compared to the one she knew. He was back in his younger years, still in the physical phase of a teenage boy. But as she looked closer, his eyes were those that did not normally belong to a boy, his grey eyes dangerous, bleak and desolate. There was not even a glimmer of light to be found in his eyes. He was standing behind thick bars, arms and legs all shackled with thick chains. There was even a metal loop attached to another chain around his neck.
Alicia recognized this place in an instant. It was the witches' prison back in the Black Forest's underground secret area.
Alicia saw that there were others behind Ezekiel. Two female vampires. One younger than Ezekiel and the other was a beautiful woman. They had the same black hair and grey eyes that was similar to his as well, so Alicia quickly realized they were the rest of the vampire king's family. His children to be exact.
The two females had the same look in their eyes. Hopeless, lifeless, as though there was nothing more that they could expect from this life. Their eyes were downcast, listlessly looking to the ground, unmoving, uncaring.
Ezekiel on the other hand, had his gaze trained straight ahead. He seemed to be staring at someone.
"Your turn now, stubborn prince." An erotic voice echoed out from the darkness.
The prison bars were flung opened, and he was grabbed roughly before being pushed out of the cell. "You have to cooperate, vampire prince." They whispered viciously into his ears. "Remember this. If you mess up, your dear brother and your entire family will be slaughtered before your eyes. Understand? You wouldn't want to enjoy that kind of wonderful 'show' would you? After this, everything will be over. We promise."
He did not even blink at the threats to his sibling's lives. It was as though they were talking to a walking and breathing statue.
Another door opened. It was a room with a large bed placed right in the middle of it. A woman was there, sprawled out languidly in the centre of the bed covered in deep scarlet sheets. She was as naked as the day she was born and had a head full of thick and straight silver hair spread out in a shocking contrast to the bedsheets under her.
Alicia shook her head, stumbling back at the wanton display, wanting to run away from this scene. She could feel an ominous foreboding crawling up her spine. She then clutched her hands over her chest as she watched Ezekiel approach the bed woodenly, shedding his clothes one article at a time, without fumbling nor blinking despite the shackles and chains that were on him. It was as if this was nothing new to him. As if he had done this a thousand times before.
No… no… no! She screamed, wanting to wake up from the nightmare. She knew she must not see this. She did not want to see this abominable act! Ezekiel… he would never want her, no… he would not want anyone to see this. She cannot see this…
She felt breaking down. Wake up! Stop! Please! She screamed shrilly as she cupped her hands to her ears and screwed her eyes tightly shut – her pitiful attempt in shutting out the depraved act in not seeing nor hearing it.
"Alicia!!!" Her name was roared out next to her ears.
She gasped and choked out a breath. It was like she had just been pulled out from drowning under water. Her eyes snapped open wide, wet with tears streaming down her cheeks unconsciously as she stared at him. Her eyes were vacant and unfocussed.
He was grabbing her shoulders with one hand and with the other, he cupped the side of her face. As her vision refocussed on the person who was before her right now, she noticed that his expression was one of horror. His fingers were trembling uncharacteristically against her face.
She had never seen him, nor could even imagine him looking like this before today. Before now.
"W-what… did you see?" he asked. For the first time, she heard him stammer. "Alicia! Tell me! What did you see??!" she urged her when she still remained silent after his question.
Alicia frantically shook her head. Her heart squeezing tight at the look she was seeing in his eyes. "I didn't see anything much… I saw you went in… there. But you had shaken me awake before I could see anything happened." She explained as fast as she could, as she could see him being so unnerved.
He stilled. Then he tore his eyes off her, his hand on her shoulder moved first, going down to her hand, before he leaned back against the couch again.
Throwing his head back, he laughed. If that could be called a laugh. Alicia had never heard such a broken and tormented laugh before.
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Chapter 793 A single drop
This chapter is dedicated to @_Basia_! Thank you so much for the supergift!
It was the most painful laughter Alicia had ever heard in her entire life.
When the laughter faded, he slapped his palm over his eyes in an instant.
"Fuck!" he cursed under his breath. "I messed up… I'm…"
"I'm sorry." Alicia did not know what to say. She was panicking internally. "I swear didn't mean to see… you can erase it. It's fine with me. You can erase the memories that I saw." Alicia chattered on in her nervousness.
Ezekiel stared at her, surprise gleaming in his eyes.
She felt a sharp sting in her chest and throat next. Because she realized that he must be thinking she would want the memories erased because she could not stand knowing about them, that she was so disgusted she wanted nothing to do with them. She also felt like he might have as well just told her himself through those eyes of his, the words 'of course, any sane person would never want to see even a glimpse of that'.
It was like she could read him and feel his every emotions right now. Was it because of what had just happened? Was this how he had been experiencing her own emotional fluctuations all this while?
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"No. You're wrong." Alicia's firm voice suddenly rang out as she shook her head before he could say anything. "I didn't see it. It stopped before you could reach her." she said honestly, knowing that there was no point lying to herself and to him at this point. "But I know you don't want me to see any of that, right?" her voice lowered. "You omitted the details while telling me about it. So I know you don't want anyone to know, much less see any of it." she could still feel the goosebumps prickling all over her skin at the memory of how that woman looked sprawled out naked on the bed.
Their eyes held. Then he tore his gaze off hers with much difficulty.
"Yes. I never wanted you to see any of those fucked up things." He nodded solemnly. His voice was composed now but she could see the veins bulging in his neck, telling her that even right now, he was still fighting damned hard for that precious composure he usually had. "That's why I was trying to tell you. I know that if I tell you everything, you'd understand. I want to explain everything to you, so you'd calm down. I was trying to have your emotions stabilize because I am starting to lose my grip on myself. Your impact on me is too strong that my defences are just crumbling down no matter how much I try to rebuild them. You just smash them down so easily. And I can't do nothing but rebuild the walls over and over. Because if I give in, I know you will invade me and see everything inside of me. Everything I never wanted you to see."
He returned his gaze to hers and an ironic smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I have underestimated you, Alicia. I thought I can survive you until the deadline… but I guess you've proven me wrong." A small disbelieving chuckle escaped his lips.
"Survive… me?" she echoed softly. Her head slightly cocked to the side, not quite understanding what he meant.
"Your assault on my composure. You're like a stubborn wrecking ball, Alicia.
This power I'm using to keep you alive will give you the ability to feel my emotions too, not just the other way around. You will feel when I lie and will be able to read my exact thoughts. And even… see my memories. That is the consequence of this power I'm using on you. But I was initially confident that I would be able to block you out. I was confident you can't beat my shield. I was confident that no one could ever… crumble my walls down." He shook his head, smiling slightly as if mocking himself for being so naïve.
"I was naïve. The moment I touched you, I knew it will be one long bloody battle. But never have I thought I wouldn't even last a freaking week. So, I… I surrendered. I never surrender. But you made me. I chose to surrender rather than have you see all of my fucked up past. Before you start to see everything, I surrendered and decided to tell you the truth instead. But it seems that even that barely solved the problem because you still ended up getting a glimpse of it."
Alicia pressed her lips together as they began to wobble.
"Why?" Alicia tried her best to stay composed. "Why didn't you just let go of me? Is it because of the thing you want from me? Is the thing you want from me worth the amount of your suffering in keeping me here with you?"
"Yes." He did not even hesitate before answering her. "But I won't really call all of this as suffering. I just can't let you see any of those."
"Why? You think I will think of you as disgusting?" she asked him, curious to know what he thought.
His lips twisted a little. "No, Alicia. I used to be so disgusted at myself for countless of years so it wouldn't even surprise me if I'm disgusting to someone. Just that… there is no need for you to see it, such filth. You don't deserve to see all those… you didn't do anything to deserve seeing that twisted scenes that must be worse than hell itself."
Alicia felt her insides churned and shiver. The way he said it, she could tell what she saw was just hardly a single drop from a full bucket of water. She just knew it was probably more than what normal minds could handle because why else did that witch queen's memories got erased completely? Even when she was dead and was supposed to see things living witches could not, she had never come across this.
It only meant one thing. And she did not need any more explanations to understand the reasons why.
"So, the reason why you…" Alicia swallowed, unsure whether to continue. But she wanted to know his answer about this even though the answer might...
She breathed and clenched her fists tight. "You always held back with me because, I reminded you of… her, right?"
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