PHYSIENTS WILL ALWAYS OFFERS BEST STORIES AND LIVE STREAMING ALL TIME
THE DEVIL IN HER DREAM
CHAPTER 115
"Direction is more important than speed. Many are going nowhere fast." -Unknown.
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Heaven went down on her knees next to her bed where Zamiel was lying and took his icy cold hand between hers.
"Zamiel." She called him gently, as if he could hear her.
He didn't move. He wasn't even breathing. Heaven looked at Ilyas. "What happened to him?" She asked.
Of all of them, he probably knew more about the death of ancients.
Ilyas looked down. "I think he is… leaving." He said.
Heaven tightened her hold around his hand. He must be in so much pain if he was leaving this slowly. She couldn't even tell how much pain because she couldn't differentiate between his pain and her pain anymore.
If he would only open his eyes once. She wanted to say some comforting words, tell him that she loved him and how the time she had with him had been the best time of her life. She wanted to tell him that she would keep him in her heart forever and strangely, she even wanted to assure him that she would be alright, so he could leave in peace.
Maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought. He would leave this world that only caused him suffering. He would be reunited with his family and hopefully be truly happy again.
Oh God. Was this really happening? Her heart tightened again and her head throbbed in pain from all the crying.
She looked at his face when she sensed a slight movement coming from him. "Zamiel?"
He didn't respond, but a tear fell out of his closed eye. "Is he in more pain?" Heaven asked Ilyas.
How would he know? She should be the one to know.
"I don't know." He said.
Another tear fell down. He was crying without moving or making a sound. Heaven tried to take away his pain in silence, but she felt nothing. There was no pain. There was nothing. She tried again, but it she felt an unsettling emptiness.
It was as if he wasn't there, inside his body. She couldn't feel his presence like she used to do.
"No!" She stood up, grabbed his shoulders, and started to shake him. "No Zamiel. No! Please."
She wasn't able to say goodbye. He couldn't leave without a goodbye.
Her parents came to her side and tried to hold her back, but she pushed them away and threw herself on Zamiel, hugging his cold body. "Please Zamiel. Don't leave me. Please." She cried.
Her cries were so loud they scarred her throat. The pain cut through her veins, causing her heart to bleed. Sadness drained through her, traveled through every cell in her body and caused every nerve to scream in agony. She never felt a pain like this before. It left her beaten and broken.
So this is what it felt like to lose someone you loved. Zamiel had already gone through this. Now it was her turn.
She kept holding him, resting her head on his chest. Her surroundings disappeared. It was only her and Zamiel and she couldn't let go of his body. She wasn't ready to let him go yet.
Heaven didn't know how long she had been holding on to him. Time didn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.
With her head resting on his chest, she suddenly felt like she heard a sound. A heartbeat. She stopped crying and listened carefully.
Yes. She heard it again. Another heartbeat. She quickly got up and turned to look at him. "Zamiel?"
He was still. Heaven was sure she had heard his heartbeat. Her hand went to his face, and she let her fingers slide over his cheek.
"Zamiel?" She called him again.
She held her breath, hopeful he would respond. It felt like forever before his eyebrows moved slightly.
Heaven's heart skipped. He was alive.
His eyebrows settled into a frown, and she saw his eyes move behind his eyelids. But he was crying again. Tears fell down his temples, and Heaven wiped them away gently. "Zamiel."
Ever so slowly, he opened his eyes until she could see his silver gaze. She smiled at him in relief, while hearing sighs of relief come from her family in the room.
Zamiel kept looking up. His eyes were void of any emotion, even though more tears fell out of them. They were red, like he had been crying for too long, even though he just woke up. Heaven wondered why he was crying, but she guessed it could be for many reasons after everything he went through.
She wiped his tears away again. "It is alright now." She whispered.
His gaze shifted, and his silver eyes finally met hers. He just stared. Maybe he wasn't fully awake yet, because she hoped he recognized her.
His lips parted, and then he uttered her name. "Heaven."
Her heart had endured a lot today, but the simple sound of her name coming from his lips closed the veins in her heart that had been bleeding.
"I am here." She said, taking his hand and holding it tightly.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She knew he was exhausted, so she kept holding his hand and waited for him patiently. Meanwhile, she listened to his heartbeat. It was very slow and uneven at first, but gradually the rhythm got better.
Tears of relief streamed down her cheeks. She thanked God for hearing her prayers.
Zamiel's cold fingers encircled around her hand. He held her back, and she looked up at him.
"Don't cry." His voice was hoarse. "I am not… going anywhere."
"I thought you left." She sobbed.
He was quiet for a moment. "Maybe I did. I just remembered I had to go to heaven and you are here."
She chuckled through her tears, and he smiled. "I am glad you remembered." She said.
He turned away from her and looked around. Her family had gathered around the bed. "I am glad you are alright." Her father spoke.
Heaven could tell her mother and grandmother had been crying with her from their red, swollen eyes.
Ilyas looked alright, but Heaven knew even he had panicked.
"Lets stop crying and bring him some water." Her father said.
THE DEVIL IN HER DREAM
CHAPTER 116
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it." - Unknown.
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Zamiel had survived, but he still had to recover. Heaven took care of him every day, feeding him, cleaning his wound and wrapping it in a new cloth. She combed his hair and helped him bathe. It was a strange feeling to take care of him, but very satisfying. Usually, she was the one to be taken care of.
Heaven knew that it was her presence that caused his slow recovery, but she didn't try to separate herself from him. If he wanted her there, then she would stay. She would make his slow recovery worth it.
The pain was worst at nighttime. He would wake up sometimes in pain and other times he would keep turning in bed. How stubborn, she thought.
If he had just let her leave for a few days, he would have healed faster instead of enduring this pain. The stab in his chest had almost healed, now. It was the damages from the poison that remained. Heaven knew how dangerous poison was, even for demons. But she didn't know it would be this difficult to recover from.
Her father told her about the pain of being poisoned. It was not something anyone would want to go through. Demon or human.
Since Zamiel came back from the brink of death, she saw a change in him. He seemed much calmer, and he had already been a calm person. But this time the calmness was clearly visible in his eyes.
His scent had also changed. Apart from the scent of earth after rain, there was another scent she couldn't recognize.
What was it, and what had changed? What happened while he was gone? She wanted to ask, but she didn't want to bring back painful memories.
Today, as she combed his hair, he stared at her through the mirror as usual. He talked less and observed more lately. At first she thought he was like that because talking pained him, but he remained the same even after getting better. Every time he looked at her, it was as if he saw her for the first time, but still recognized her.
His eyes were calm, but his gaze was intense. "You have regained some color on your face." She said to break the silence.
"Do I look better now?" He asked.
She looked at his reflection in the mirror. Did he even need to ask? He had a face that would make any woman daydream. Even now when he looked a little sick.
"Yes." She replied, putting the comb down on the dresser. "I need to look at your wound." She said.
He stood up and went to sit on her bed as usual, while taking his shirt off. Heaven followed him, then removed the piece of cloth that was wrapped around his torso. She crouched to inspect. Only a small opening was left, and it wasn't bleeding anymore. Still, she wrapped it with a new piece of cloth for protection. Again Zamiel watched her in silence while she took care of him. He was making her nervous.
"Can you lift your arms?" She asked so she could wrap the cloth around him.
He did as he was told. Not once did he question her, refuse her help, or not comply. He was like an obedient child. Doing exactly what he was told and following along.
He had become a bit thinner after the injury, and even though she tried to make him eat, he didn't seem to be able to digest the food, so he only ate small portions. The poison seemed to have damaged his stomach as well.
Once she was done, Heaven grabbed his shirt and helped him wear it. Again, he let her dress him, even though he had healed enough to do it on his own. She was glad that he didn't protest and let her take care of him.
Deep down she knew why he was being like this. He wanted to release her from her guilt. But no matter how much she helped him, it would never undo the damage she caused.
Her grandfather had come to see her a few days ago. It didn't surprise her that he came. She knew it was only a matter of time before he came back to collect her. She had asked him to give her more time. She wanted to care for Zamiel before she left.
She had been waiting for the right moment to tell him what she was planning to do, but she kept delaying it in fear of hurting him. Either way, he would be hurt.
If not by leaving, then by some other crueler way that her grandfather came up with. He threatened not only Zamiel, but the rest of her family as well. He had said "your loved ones". She had no doubt he could hurt his own family. He had already broken her to pieces.
"You smell different." She told him as she helped him wear his shirt.
"How so?" He asked.
"I am not sure, but you have got an additional scent."
"What is that scent?"
Heaven tried to think of what it was. It was like nothing she smelled before. It was warm, gentle, and soothing. It was colorful; she wanted to say. Strange. How could smell have colors?
"I don't know what it is, but it makes me think of heaven. As if you have been there." She shook her head with a smile. What a silly thing to say.
Something in Zamiel's gaze changed. He looked more serious and didn't find what she said to be funny.
"I have been there." He said. "I met my wife and my daughter."
Heaven paused. "You did?" It was hard to imagine.
He nodded.
"How?" She asked astounded.
He shrugged. "I don't know."
Both became silent. Heaven tried to digest what he said. He went to heaven and met his family. Was that when he was crying? He must have been so happy to be reunited with his family. Did he want to stay there and not come back? Was that why he was crying?
"How did that feel?" She asked.
"Overwhelming." He said.
"Did you talk to them?"
"Yes.I… I hugged my daughter." His face lit up when he spoke about her, but his eyes remained sad. "She isn't a child anymore. She grew up into a beautiful woman. Beautiful and kind."
Heaven nodded. She didn't know which part made her sad. The thought of him wanting to stay with them or the fact that he got separated from them again.
She didn't want him to die, but she didn't want him to be sad, either. "I am sorry." She said, looking down. She was sorry for what she did and for what she was going to do. She was the worst mate anyone could have.
Zamiel put his hand under her chin and lifted her head. "For what?" He asked.
"For wanting you to come back to me and separating you from them." Just to leave you. "You must have been so happy to see them."
He smiled at her. "I was happy, but I would be disappointed if you didn't want me to come back. And you didn't separate me from them. I chose to come back to you."
Tears stung her eyes. He chose her, but she was going to leave him.
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THE DEVIL IN HER DREAM
CHAPTER 117
"The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost.
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"Why are you crying?" He asked when she couldn't stop the tears from leaving her eyes.
"I… I have to go." She sobbed. "I can't stay with you. I can't stay here." She let it out. She had been trying to find the right moment or the right way to say it but there was no such thing.
He didn't seem surprised. It was almost as if he was expecting it to happen.
"You don't have to go. You know I would go through the same pain again just to be with you." He spoke calmly.
Heaven stood up and took a step back. "But I can't go through the same pain again." She cried. "I am not that strong."
"So you will just leave?" He asked.
"Yes!" She almost yelled. "I want to leave. I am tired of this." She fought back the tears, but they fought against her, forcing their way out.
There was so much buildup of anger and frustration inside of her that was pushing its way out.
"I don't want to be here. I can't find peace here, and people will never accept me as a ruler. In fact, I don't even want to be one. I just want to live a peaceful life and with grandpa I can do that. I can live freely and not have to hide that I am a demon."
Now she was just spitting lies, but who was she lying to? Zamiel certainly didn't believe her.
She continued, as if trying to convince him. "All I have done is worry and cry. That is not how I want to live. I want to be happy. In grandpa's kingdom I don't have to worry about being a royalty and doing my duties. I will be free from all of that. I will make new friends and go wherever I want and do whatever I want. That is how I want to live."
"Would living like that make you happy?" He asked.
"Yes!" She held her chin up.
"Then you shouldn't be crying while pursuing your happiness."
"I am only crying because I am tired." She said. That wasn't a complete lie.
Zamiel remained calm the whole time. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. Then he stood up from his seat and walked up to her.
"What if I still tell you not to go?" He asked.
"You told me once I could decide. You told me you would let me go if I wanted to go."
He grabbed her jaw gently. "I did. But I don't think you understood what I meant. I would let you go if you found happiness somewhere else or with someone else. You are not convincing me right now."
"I will be happy with grandpa." She insisted. "I can be a ruler there without trying."
Zamiel dropped his hand. "Alright. You can leave if you want to leave." He said.
What?
Did she hear him correctly? She blinked a few times in surprise, and then stared at him.
"You will let me leave?" She asked.
He shrugged. "I can't force you to stay. If it makes you happy to leave, then I want you to be happy."
No! He was not supposed to be nice to her. If she didn't know him better she would think he was trying to make her feel guilty, but there was something else going on with him. He wouldn't just let her go. Would he ?
What was he trying to do?
"Do you mean it?" She asked.
He caressed her cheek and wiped some tears along the way. "Yes."
Heaven was confused. She thought she would have to fight him to get away, but he agreed so easily.
"You don't want me here anymore?" She blurted.
He chuckled. "You are the one leaving." He reminded.
Yes. She shook her head. What got into her? This was just so strange.
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Zamiel could see that Heaven was confused. He didn't want to confuse her, but he couldn't let her know what he was thinking. If she was confused about him letting her go, then the devil would certainly be confused. He realized running away or fighting the devil wasn't the solution.
Heaven had already endured a lot. It was visible in the way she said that she was tired. That part hadn't been a lie. She had been put under a lot of stress and it could break her. He didn't want that to happen.
If he asked her to stay, she would always feel like she had to watch her back, and if anything happened again, then she would never forgive herself. Carrying guilt was a heavy burden, and he realized how heavy that burden was once it was lifted off his shoulder after meeting his family.
He didn't want Heaven to go through the same thing. Since he failed to protect her, he should at least not burden her. So he would let her do what she wanted while he tried to find a better solution.
Heaven would have to trust him without him explaining, just like he trusted to let her go and know that she wouldn't change while staying with her grandfather.
"Are you letting me go for my own happiness?" She asked.
"Well, it can't be for my happiness."
She was trying to read him, and she didn't seem to find answers.
"How will you convince your parents?" He asked curiously.
"I won't convince them. I will just tell them that I want to leave."
From the way she spoke, Zamiel realized how tired she was. She became even thinner, paler, her eyes were darker and despite all that, she never made him feel as if she was the least tired while taking care of him. If she kept going this way, she would collapse.
Taking a step closer, he wrapped his arms around her. "Do what you want to do. I'll support you." He said.
She looked up at him. "I don't understand you." She said.
"You will, one day." He smiled.
Zamiel stayed by her side when she decided to tell her parents. Her father was silent, but Zamiel knew that inside his emotions were loud. Her mother, on the other hand, made it clear that she wasn't going to let her leave.
Despite saying that she wouldn't convince them, Heaven tried her best to explain to her mother why she wanted to leave.
While they fought, Lucian studied Zamiel, and they stared at each without talking. He was thinking of why Zamiel was allowing his mate to go to the devil? He couldn't figure him out, and he wasn't supposed to.
Would he ask? Or did he know it was pointless? He was not going to tell him anything when his thoughts were exposed to his father.
"Heaven! You are not going anywhere!" Her father finally spoke with his authoritative voice, but without breaking eye contact with Zamiel.
Heaven turned away from her mother to face him. "You can't force me to stay, father."
He stood up hastily and glared at her. "I don't need you to sacrifice yourself for everyone else."
"You told me that was the quality of a great ruler. To sacrifice your wants and needs for the greater good."
Zamiel could see that Lucian regretted saying that ever.
"You are not a ruler." He told her.
"But you are. Will you sacrifice everyone else to keep me here? Do you think I will be thankful?"
Lucian clenched his jaw, and Heaven regretted what she said. She went up to her father and took his hands in hers. "I will be alright. You know I am strong." She assured him.
"You are not supposed to be this strong. I am still your father." He said. "You stay here. I will go."
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