PHYSIENTS WILL ALWAYS OFFERS BEST STORIES AND LIVE STREAMING ALL TIME
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THE DEVIL IN HER DREAM
CHAPTER 112
"Comparison is the death of joy." -Mark Twain.
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Zamiel tried to get up again, but failed. Irene put her hand gently on his shoulder. "Please, Zamiel. You are going to cause the wound to open even more."
He stopped struggling to get up and let his head fall back. He was panting while holding his chest.
More blood seeped from the wound on his chest. Blood should normally be bad, but in his case it was good. She just needed to stop him from trying to move.
"You will be alright." She told him when he looked at her with pleading eyes. "You will be alright and then you will see Heaven again."
He turned away from her and stared at the ceiling. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "I have wondered how I got so lucky to meet a wonderful woman again and fall in love. It always seemed too good to be true. Maybe… this is how lucky I will get."
He turned back to her. "I want to be able to say goodbye this time. I want to look at Heaven and tell her how much I love her. I want to make sure she is alright. I want to..." He stopped and grimaced in pain.
"Say no more. Heaven is alright and I will let her know how you feel."
Irene knew how she felt. She knew why he was so desperate to see Heaven. He wanted to free her from her guilt before he died. He wanted to let her know that his feelings for her remained the same.
Zamiel grabbed her hand that rested on his shoulder to keep him down. "Will… you… let me see her?"
Irene didn't know what to say. She could be making a mistake if she didn't let him see her and he died, but she could also be making a mistake if she let him see her, and his condition got worse. She was torn, and she looked at Ilyas for help. He didn't seem to know what to do either.
Zamiel's grip on her hand loosened, and he started to lose consciousness again. This time, she didn't see relief in his eyes before he disappeared. She saw fear. He didn't want to go before seeing Heaven.
Irene panicked. "He is not dead yet. Is he?"
Ilyas shook his head, coming forward. "He is bleeding again. It is a good thing."
Hopefully now, while he was unmoving, he would heal before bleeding out.
Irene and Ilyas kept watching him in silence. It felt like forever before he finally stirred in bed again. But it was only for a short moment, and then he was gone again. Irene thought she would get a heart disease from all this. She couldn't relax even for a moment, but after long hours of watching over him, she somehow fell asleep by accident.
When she woke up and realized that she had fallen asleep, she panicked.
Zamiel?
She quickly turned to his bed, but it was empty. He was gone. Her heart dropped to her stomach. He must have gone to see Heaven.
Where was Ilyas?
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Heaven lay in her bed, curled up under the sheets. She wasn't sleeping, but she didn't feel awake either. She just felt empty. After drowning in her own pain and Zamiel's pain for too long, she became numb to all of it. She just stared emptily in-front of her, feeling dead inside.
Someone as weak as her, someone who didn't even have the strength to stop themselves from hurting their mate, didn't deserve to have one. She had stabbed him with her own hands, and of all the places, she stabbed him in the heart. Just thinking about it made her chest feel tight.
And the poison. She remembered the pained look in his eyes and wished the ground would open and swallow her. But she didn't deserve to be released from this shame and this pain. Not when her mate was suffering. She deserved to suffer as much, and now she didn't know what felt worse. To feel pain or to feel completely numb?
Her parents were somewhere in her room. They had tried to talk to her, but their voices seemed distant. No words reached her ears. The only words she wanted to hear was that Zamiel was alright. Nothing else mattered at this moment.
In her absent state of mind she suddenly felt a chilling cold and then heard the distance gasp of her mother.
"Zamiel."
Zamiel?!
Hastily she turned in bed and sat up. Her eyes searched the room until they found Zamiel. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking pale and pained.
Heaven didn't know what got into her, but she jumped out of bed and ran to him, wrapping her arms around him. She had told herself she would stay away, but at this moment, all rational thoughts fled her mind. She was relieved to see him alive and be able to hold him.
"Heaven." His voice was filled with pain as he wrapped one arm around her. That is when all of her emotions came back and hit her hard, knocking all the air out of her lungs.
"Zamiel." She pulled back, but he kept his arm around her.
Heaven gazed up at him. His face was pale, his lips were purple and dry, and his hair was wet from sweating too much. As he held her close, she realized how cold his body was. Colder than usual. His breathing was uneven, and his eyes looked tired.
She was the one who put him in this state. She was the one who caused him this much pain. How could he hold her so close and not look at her with hatred, disgust, or at least mistrust?
"I did this to you." She said, tears filling her eyes.
He shook his head. "No, you didn't. You would never hurt me."
Tears rolled down her cheeks. It pained her so much to hear those words, knowing that she did almost kill him.
He wiped the tears away from her cheeks with thumb and then grabbed her face with his icy hand. "I am sorry you had to go through this. I am always failing to protect…"
She covered his mouth with her hand to stop him from saying what he was going to say. He shouldn't talk about failing when she was the one who failed. "Don't say that." She felt ashamed to even look at him.
"You shouldn't be here." She said, afraid that something would happen again. She wouldn't take risks again when he finally survived.
Placing her hand on his chest, she tried to push him away when she felt something wet under her palm. She turned her hand over; it was stained with blood.
Heaven looked at his chest. Blood was seeping through his white shirt.
"Zamiel. You are bleeding." She panicked.
She thought he came here because he had already healed. How stupid of her to not think!
"You have to go. You can't be here. Are you trying to kill yourself?" She pushed him away gently, but he grabbed her arm instead. "Zamiel! You have to go or I will."
He pulled her closer. "Don't leave."
The strength in his grip didn't match the weakness in his voice.
"Don't...leave." He repeated, wobbling slightly and dropping his arm.
"Zamiel!" She grabbed his arms to prevent him from falling, but she wasn't strong enough, and he fell to his knees. Before she could do anything, he quickly grabbed her wrist, as if he was more afraid of her leaving than the vulnerable state he was in.
"Can I… be selfish once and ask of you to stay by my side… when I am leaving."
He could barely breathe as he spoke.
"You are not dying." She said firmly. It was almost as if she denied him death.
She tried to pull her hand away, but his grip was even stronger this time. How could he hold her with such strength when he couldn't even speak properly?
"You have to let me go." She tried to remove his hand with dread, but he refused to let go.
Instead, he pulled her down on her knees so they came face to face. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Please." She pleaded. She was panicking. He was going to die because of her.
She was the selfish one, hoping he wouldn't die when he was in agony. Refusing to listen to him or stay with him because she refused to let him go.
She didn't know what to do. It felt like whatever she did would have great consequences. She had to find out if there was hope, but at the same time, how could she give up hope. How could she give up on him?
She shook her head. For a brief moment, she hoped to take his place, but then she remembered what losing someone he loved again would do to him. She felt completely helpless.
Zamiel slowly let go of her hand as if giving up.
No!
What did this mean?
THE DEVIL IN HER DREAMS
CHAPTER 113
"Don't let someone who has done nothing, tell you how to do anything." - Unknown.
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Zamiel let go of Heaven's hand when he saw her eyes tearing up. He realized he was being too selfish and asking too much. He had just wanted to see her face before he died and have her hold him as he took his last breath.
His heart was telling him it reached its limit. Everything he did was causing him pain. Even holding his eyes open or breathing felt like torture. His body had enough after going through so much. It felt as if his soul was slowly leaving his body and he didn't have the strength to hold it back.
Maybe he should have died that day. When Heaven was willing to kill him. If he had died then, he would spare her and himself all this pain.
No!
Actually, he should have been locked forever in that coffin. He shouldn't have been released. What good did he bring?
"I'll be alright." He told her.
He wanted to say he would be alright with whatever decision she made. He didn't want to see her hurt anymore.
As he spoke, he felt his vision becoming blurry again. The darkness came back to take him away. He tried to look at Heaven one last time, but he couldn't see her face clearly.
No, he wasn't ready to leave yet. He still had a lot to say.
He reached out with his hand blindly and was relieved when Heaven took it and held it between both of her hands.
"Don't go to your grandfather. This is not your fault." He wished he could see her face, to know if she was listening to him. "I want to see you when I wake up." If he woke up. He hoped he would to see her again.
Before he could hear her reply, darkness swept him away.
For a while there was no pain or agony until his consciousness slowly crawled back, but not completely. He was stuck somewhere in the darkness, awake yet not. It was as if his body was tied and he couldn't move, but he could feel pain. He could feel it coming from every place in his body. His mind screamed, but his body remained chained by the darkness.
After what felt like years of torture, he finally saw a glimpse of light, and the chains around him loosened. He was being carried toward that light, leaving the darkness behind until he found himself in a place that seemed like heaven.
Did he die?
Under his feet, he felt something soft and warm. He looked down. He was barefoot and stood on the greenest grass he had ever seen.
He found himself in a garden unlike any he had seen before. The colors were harmonies; the breeze was as soft as the warm sunrays against his skin. The sky was the clearest blue and far on the horizon he could see mountains with the colors of the rainbow.
Where was he?
A soft laughter caught his attention. He turned back and saw the back of a woman sitting on a white bench. Zamiel slowly walked toward her, but stopped abruptly when the woman stood up. She stood still for a moment before she slowly turned around to face him.
Zamiel froze when he locked eyes with her. Those amber eyes…
"Zamiel." She smiled.
Zamiel couldn't believe his eyes. This had to be a dream, but the way she called his name was so familiar and her voice was so clear.
"Gamila?"
She looked so happy to see him. "I shouldn't be happy that you are here, but I am. I have been waiting for you." She said, walking over to him. She slowly reached out and touched his upper arms, as if she couldn't believe she was seeing him.
"You are finally here." She breathed, her eyes tearing up. "I hope you came here without much pain."
Zamiel just stared at her, astounded. What was happening? She felt so real. He could feel her touch on his arms.
He reached for her face slowly. The feel of her skin on the tip of his fingers felt exactly like he remembered. She was real.
Gamila took his hand and placed her face in his palm. "I have missed you so much."
"Gamila? It is you?"
"Yes. It is me." She gazed into his eyes.
How?
He couldn't count how many times he had wished to see her, and now she was here. Standing right in front of him and he was touching her and smelling her.
Without thinking, he drew her into his arms and hugged her tightly. He was happy to see her alive and replace the images of her lifeless body that had been haunting him for so long.
He pulled back to look at her again. He was still in disbelief. "Are you alright?" He asked.
She smiled widely. "Yes."
They just stared at each other for a while before her gaze shifted to something behind him and she smiled again. Zamiel turned to see what she was looking at.
A young woman in a light blue dress stood a few feet away from them. She looked at him closely, as if trying to recognize him, but it took him no time to recognize her. She looked just like him, with her pale skin, dark hair, and silver eyes.
"Micah?" His daughter. She was alive and... she had grown.
She was so little when he buried her.
"Father?"
His heart shuddered when she called him.
"Micah. This is your father. I told you he would be here one day." Gamila smiled at her daughter.
Micah stared at him in silence, and he stared back. He was an awe. No words came out of his mouth.
Zamiel remembered all the times he had played with her, carried her, showered her with kisses and hugs and let her sleep in his arms. But she had been a child and could probably not remember him. But oddly, she recognized him.
"Father, I have been waiting to meet you." She finally spoke and came near him.
Tears burned his eyes and his heart felt heavy and warm at the same time. This was his daughter. His own flesh and blood and last time he held her she was dead in his arms. He wanted to hold her again. Feel her alive in his arms.
He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her while tears streamed down his face. "Micah, I have longed to see you."
She carefully put her arms around him and Zamiel felt his heart burst with the joy of holding her in his arms. He never wanted to let go. He kissed her hair and smelled her scent.
He held her tightly, then grabbed her face between his hands. He wanted to look at her. She looked just like him, but with feminine features.
"She didn't inherit any of my looks. She looks just like you." Gamila said causing Micah to smile.
Zamiel didn't tear his gaze away from his daughter. It felt like she would disappear if he looked away, even for a short moment.
"You look beautiful and… you have grown." Without a father, he added in his mind. "I am sorry I wasn't there when you grew up."
Micah placed her hands on top of his and smiled. "You are here now. It is all that matters." She said.
Gamila nodded beside him. "Yes. We are here and we are safe. No one can harm us here."
Here? Where were they?
Zamiel turned to Gamila. "What is this place?" He asked.
"Heaven."
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THE DEVIL IN HER DREAMS
CHAPTER 114
"When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful."- Caroline Myss.
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Heaven?
He died? And he came to heaven? Leaving Heaven behind?
"Am I dead?" He asked.
Gamila turned to her left, and he followed her gaze. Somewhere far away, he saw an opening. It was dark inside, and the opening seemed to shrink in size slowly.
"You are dying." She said, turning back to him.
Zamiel looked between her and the opening, then he looked at his daughter. He was in heaven, reunited with his family again. Wasn't this all he had wished for all those years inside that empty, dark coffin? Why wasn't he happy now?
Heaven.
He couldn't leave her behind. He had to go back. But then he looked at Gamila and his daughter and guilt weighed on his heart. He was going to disappoint them. Again.
"You don't want to be here?" Gamila asked with a frown.
Zamiel felt a sharp pain in his chest and his eyes burned with tears again.
"Gamila." He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. How was he going to explain himself? It felt like he betrayed her. Like he betrayed them.
"I love you. I always have and I always will. But I have to go back. I am sorry."
Tears filled her eyes, but she shook her head as if refusing to cry. "Don't apologize. I understand. I have always prayed for you to find happiness and it seems like you found it."
He nodded. He did find happiness with Heaven.
"What is her name?" She asked.
"Heaven." He said.
"Heaven?" She smiled. "You found Heaven on earth."
He did.
"Then there is no reason for you to stay here." Tears fell down their cheeks.
Both were crying as they held each others hands. "You deserve all the happiness in the world. You deserve to have heaven on earth and even after. It pained me to see you hurt all those years. I am happy that you are happy now."
"Could you see me?" He asked.
She nodded. "Once a year the gates of heaven open and we can go down to see our loved ones. Micah and I have gone down every year and for a thousand years I couldn't see you because you were locked. And I couldn't do anything about it. This year's opening is still to come, so I didn't know you were released."
She turned to Micah, who also had tears in her eyes. "Micah and I will come down to visit you again when the gates open." She said.
Micah nodded while she cried, and Zamiel went to hug his daughter. He hated this. After all those years when he finally saw his daughter, he made her cry. "I am sorry you had to have a father like me." He said and she shook her head. "I want you to know that I love very much."
Now he was truly crying. His daughter had been his everything. She had been the light in his life. She had been a blessing from God.
Gamila put a hand on shoulder. "Zamiel. You have to go now before it is too late." She said. "Micah and I will be fine."
Zamiel's heart broke as he pulled away from his daughter. The warmth left his body, and he was cold again. Gamila came to stand in front of him. She grabbed his face gently. "I have never blamed you for what happened. I want you to go back and be truly happy and let go of that guilt." She said. "Promise me."
He felt a lump in his throat that made it difficult to talk. "I promise." He said, then took her hands and kissed both of her knuckles. In old times, it was a sign of respect.
Gamila smiled at him. "I will come to see you with Micah when the gates open again. I hope to see you happy."
He nodded. "Will I be able to see you when you come down?" He asked.
"I don't know. Some people can see and others can't. I hope you can see us, otherwise remember the scent of this garden. When we come down, you should be able to smell it."
Zamiel nodded.
He hugged Gamila and Micah one last time before he started walking toward the opening that was getting smaller. Tears streamed down his eyes as he walked away. He was overwhelmed by all the emotions he felt inside. There was both joy and sadness, both pain and relief.
He turned back to wave one more time, and they waved back, smiling at him one last time. He would honor this memory and all of their other memories, and one day he would see them again.
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Heaven left Zamiel in her room with Ilyas and Irene. She went to her parents' quarters to stay away from him so that he could heal. She cried and cried, not knowing if she did the right thing by leaving him behind. But if she stayed, he would surely die.
Her crying made her mother cry, who held her in her arms. "He will be alright." Her mother murmured some encouraging words while stroking her hair.
Her father was silent, but she could see he was going through his own struggle to see her like that. She could tell he was restless, angry and was trying to hold himself from rushing to her grandfather to fight him. But what was the point? Her grandfather would always win. He would always have a way to get back at them by hurting the people they loved.
After crying for so long, Heaven just leaned against her mother's shoulder, feeling exhausted. When would this nightmare end?
Just when she asked herself that question, her grandmother appeared.
Heaven stood up hastily. "Is he alright?" She asked before her grandmother opened her mouth.
"Heaven." From the way Irene said her name, Heaven knew it wasn't good news. She felt her heart sink. "I think you need to come and see him."
Heaven shook her head in denial.
"His condition is getting worse, and I don't want you to have any regrets. It was also his last wish. You should honor it." Her grandmother explained.
Heaven burst into tears. Her heart felt so tight in her chest it suffocated her. She didn't want to accept this, but she had to see him if it was his last wish. It was the least she could do for him, after all the pain she caused. She would have to deal with her own pain later.
Heaven wanted to be there for him. Ease his pain in any way she could, even though she was dying inside.
Feeling completely destroyed, she went back to her room. Zamiel was lying in her bed, his body looking dead. Ilyas stood next to him, and the look on his face wasn't one she had hoped to see.
Slowly she neared her bed where Zamiel was lying. Her heart raced for every step she took and her legs felt heavy, as if refusing to obey her. She remembered the day she released him from the coffin. She wasn't supposed to make him live just to kill him later. She wasn't supposed to release him from suffering, to make him suffer again.
This was wrong. Zamiel didn't deserve this. If he left, then her heart and soul would leave with him.
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